it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of
weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this
adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since
they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one
will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of
feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get
up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
Down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end
with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping
thing before, stayed well back. They were not having
any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed
up...3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one,
stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end
so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood
and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a
step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little
tension on the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that while a deer
may just stand there looking at you funny while you
rope it, they are spurred to action when you start
pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or
a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a
rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing
ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me
across the ground, it occurred to me that having a
deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I
originally imagined. The only up side is that they do
not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10
minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get
up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I
was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big
gash in my head.
At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed
venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off
the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go
with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely
die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there
was no love at all between me and that deer. At that
moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess
that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large
knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's
momentum by bracing my head against various large
rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was
a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I
managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck
and the feeder...a little trap I had set beforehand.
Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in
there and started moving up so I could get my rope
back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a
million years would have thought that a deer would
bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached
up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold
of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not
like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and
then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head..
almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is
probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried
screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though
you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my
right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled
that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior
for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front
feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike
right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves
are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that
when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their
hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
to do is try to make a loud noise and make an
aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually
cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This
was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
trickery would not work.
In the course of a millisecond I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and
run. The reason I had always
been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that
paws at you is that there is a good chance that it
will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be
so different from horses after all, besides being
twice as strong and three times as evil, because the
second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of
the head and knocked me down.
Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it
does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not
recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
while you are laying there crying like a little girl
and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl
under the truck and the deer went away.
Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My
scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs,
my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it
turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was
bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas
jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it.
I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I
got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and
looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me
through the window and came running out yelling "what
happened" I have never seen any law in the state of
North Dakota that would prohibit an individual from roping a
deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have
overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to
which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise
their power, I was concerned that they may find a way
to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as
criminal. I swear....not wanting to admit that I had
done something monumentally stupid played no part in
my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer." I
did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it.
The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the
back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and
a large deer print on my face where it had struck me
there.
I asked him to call somebody to come get me...I didn't
think I could make it home on my own. He did.
Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my
house and wanted to
know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks
are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested
in the event. I tried to describe the attack as
completely and accurately as I could...I was filling
the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and
just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It
was obviously rabid or insane or something. EVERYBODY
for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy
at the co-op has a big mouth).
For several weeks people dragged their kids in the
house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers
carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have
told several people the story, but NEVER anybody
around here. I have to see these people every day and
as an outsider...a "city folk"...I have enough trouble
fitting in without them snickering behind my back and
whispering "there is the Idiot that tried to rope
a deer."
ha ha haha hahahah 
Well fawn on one side, me and the 
on the other she never hit me agian and ran away, boy I'm glad she was'nt on a rope